"Love means never having to say you're sorry." Umm, I call bullshit. Love is hating saying you're sorry but doing it anyway. At least that's one of the lessons I've learned during the past 6 years of my relationship. Although I can't say I hate apologizing, I definitely don't jump at the opportunity to say the words "I'm sorry".
Today marks my sixth date-iversary. I could, of course, write a glowing, loving post dedicated to the man who's put up with me all these years. Flood all your feeds with memories of the past year, me and my hunny's face plastered all over. That's what a normal girlfriend would do. But, let's be real, it's not like the boyfriend checks this little corner of the internet daily (although he'll swear he does!). Instead, I'm going to follow suit from last year and write a post about love, inspired by us, but not totally about us. You follow? Ok, let's go.
Saying "I'm sorry" when you'd rather say "I'm right!"
Oooooh maaan... I'll tell ya. This ain't easy. Most people hate being wrong, but admitting defeat is usually the way to go. Sometimes you get so rooted in your faulty position that you fail to realize you're insistence is tearing the relationship apart. Pride has no place in a relationship. It's better to apologize for being a brat and laugh it off. Love is being able to say you're sorry.
Being honest even when it's embarrassing or daunting.
It seems like from the moment we become interested in boys, we get the impression that we're suppose to be gentle with men. Don't ask to many questions, don't expect too much from them, be careful not to bruise their macho little egos. Granted, I think we should be kind to everyone and acknowledge that no one is perfect. But in a relationship, honesty, especially at times when it's probably easier to lie, truly is the best policy. I say this all the time "If I can trust you with the little stuff, I'll trust you with the big stuff." When your partner lies about going out with the guys after work, you definitely won't trust him when you think he's having an affair. If you lie about saying "Happy Birthday" to an ex, no way he's gonna trust you just drove him home a few months later. Our words set patterns; our lies too. Being honest can be embarrassing or hurtful, but love is about trust and we can only trust the truth.
Shaving when you'd much rather watch Netflix.
Being a girlfriend (and ladylike for that matter) is hard work! There I said it! I mean really, there's a long list of things I'd do much less frequently if I weren't in a relationship. Shaving is at the top of that list. Followed by brushing my hair, exercising and using plates. But love, love is also about wanting to please your significant other and sometimes that means pausing your 5th episode of Scandal and whipping up dinner for your man. There are just some things you do for love and love alone.
Letting go of the little things.
I use to be really bad at this. I probably still am. But I definitely make a conscious effort to let the small shit roll off my back. So instead of complaining about rolled up socks that explode like little sand dunes when I'm doing laundry, I just unroll the tiny grenades a safe distance away from my face. Sometimes, especially when we are in love, everything that happens feels like such a huge deal. Forgetting to take out the trash, not noticing when you change your hairstyle for the 7th time this month, that girl that likes all his iG pics even though he never reciprocates? He's human; he's not the hero from your favorite novel/movie. None of it's really worth the argument and the ensuing headache.
Speaking the other person's language.
Honestly, this isn't the easiest thing to do. I saw this book, The Five Love Languages, on the NY Times Bestseller's list last week and my brain screamed You need this! According to Gary Chapman, there are 5 love languages (quality time, affirmative words, gifts, acts of service, physical touch) and we have to communicate in ways our spouse will understand. I'm a words kinda girl - duh! - and I see quality time as commitment. If you tell me how you feel often and make time for me, I understand that you love me. But C, well, he's acts of service/gifts kinda guy (I read somewhere that most guys are). To him, showing he loves me is pulling the pot I can't reach down from the cupboard or surprising me with my favorite candy bar. You can see where not being fluent in your significant other's language can go awry ie. "You never tell me how ardently you admire and love me! You're just trying to make me fat with all these hershey bars!"
For good measure, I'll toss in a photo of me and my boy. Because, well, six years is a long time and you know... memories :)
I think I like this "on ______" concept. Maybe it'll become a thing. Hmmm.
That's my take on love. What's yours?