The Things That Scare Us (+ A Giveaway!)

Somehow I thought it'd be a good idea to search Are You Afraid Of The Dark? episodes online the other day. That was both a good and bad decision. Good because I was thrilled to relive the childhood memories, but not so good because sat there for 2 hours. Womp. I was terrified of that show as a kid. I mean, I still watched it, because apparently I was the kind of kid who enjoyed scaring the s#!t out of myself. But it got me thinking about my fears as a kid versus my fears as an adult, and not only how different they are, but how they are almost opposing in some ways.

Things that scared me as child:

Are You Afraid Of The Dark?
We've been through this. It might have scared the beejesus out of me but I watched it anyway. And it totally gave me nightmares every now and then. And yes, yes I was afraid of the dark.

Childbirth 
When I found out how babies were really made and brought into the world (none of that stork nonsense), I was grossed out. I told my mother that I wasn't about that life. I would have the sex and she would birth the children. I'm not sure how I thought that would work out...

Freddy Krueger
As mentioned above, I was the kid that liked watching scary things even though they legitimately scared me (probably why I like Halloween so much). When I watched Nightmare on Elm Street as a kid, I was only mildly scared. But then I woke up to real flames one night licking at my window (the house behind ours had caught on fire), and although my dear ol' dad saved me of course, lifting my paralyzed-with-fear body from my bed and carrying me outside in my nighty, I've been afraid of the serial killer ever since. Well, not ever since. The fear subsided after I forced myself to watch Nightmare on Elm Street as a teenager because Johnny Depp was in it. Nothing like a teeny-bopper crush to get you over your fears.

Getting in trouble with my parents
Utter the words "I'm telling your father" and I was liable to fall apart right there. It's not like my dad was a particularly scary man. He had a full beard and a very commandeering personality, but I was his baby girl (his only girl, his only child) and he softened tremendously when it came to me. But still, the possibility of getting in trouble had me quaking in my little cowgirl boots, every time.

Shots & Vaccinations
I still don't like them, but I really hated them as a kid. Getting me to sit still for a routine shot was a process. Somehow I convinced myself that being sick at all meant I was going to get a shot. So it'd pretend not to have a tummy ache or try to hide my sniffling, which always ended with my mother noticing (because moms know everything!) and giving me a lecture about telling her when I'm hurt.

Getting sucked down the drain or into a sewer by a balloon-wielding clown. 
Either I was a sneaky little thing or someone wasn't paying attention, but 7 year old me definitely watched Stephen's King's IT. This scene with Georgie and Pennywise... *shudders* I just watched it again and it still creeps me the eff out.




Things that scare me now:


The Big What If?
The question that has the ability to drive me completely bonkers. What if I'm not enough? What if I'm not doing enough? What if this isn't my path? What if I have no path? Maybe it's just all part of that quarter-life crisis I talked about many posts ago, but one of my biggest fears is living my life with 'what ifs?' I don't want to miss an opportunity or make a wrong decision. I don't want these big regrets looming over me.   

Disappointing my parents. 
The remnants of the "ooo, you're in trouble." In my twenties, I'm not worried about trouble (although my parents still try lol). I'm more afraid of letting my parents down. Now that I'm older, I can clearly see all those sacrifices they made for me, the ones they talked about years ago. And although I know they'd do it 100x over, I feel like I have to make it worth it for them.

To not be in control of my surroundings. 
Specifically not being in control of what happens to me. Going with the flow is hard for me. I like to know what I'm doing and when I'm doing it. I don't like riding in cars with drivers I don't know and I'm hard to surprise. I mean, I like surprises, but at the same time, the idea of not knowing what's going on makes me uncomfortable. Most importantly, I really don't like not being in control of myself. In college, my experimentation with 'certain things' was incredibly limited because of this. (Not that I'm advocating these things.) I was always afraid of becoming too affected by a substance and doing things I normally wouldn't do or not remembering what I'd done the following day. Don't get me wrong - there were plenty of "fuzzy recollections, fill in the details" kind of mornings, but never any "blacked-out, why am I naked" moments. I couldn't have handled any of those.

Not having children
I know this is a very sensitive subject and I really don't mean to offend anyone, but its a legitimate fear of mine. Growing up I was never the girl who dreamed of marriage, I wasn't really concerned with it, but I always knew I wanted a child to experience life with. And the idea of not being able to have a child of my own is really unsettling for me. I know that there are other ways to be a parent, and that it's not the end of the world. In fact, I admire those who adopt. But I want to birth a little mini-me. I want to look into the tear-streaked face of my tantrum-throwing 4 year old and see my grandmother's pout or my father's intensity.

Living for other people
It's funny. As a kid, we all wanted to be exactly "like everyone else". I actually uttered that phrase a few times during my rebellious adolescent years. We basically lived for our peers. But now, now that I'm aware of herd mentality and crowd wisdom, I find myself constantly questioning the things I "want" and whether they are solely my own desires or a societal influence. Do I really want a white and gold living room scheme or is it just all the pretty Pinterest pictures? Do I just love Pride & Prejudice because everyone else does? (FYI: Nay, I love it because it's the best novel ever written!) Do I wear makeup because it enhances what I find beautiful or because it makes me look like everyone else? Sometimes I wonder if we're all just living for the approval of others, and that thought is terrifying.

Serial Killers
A stowaway from childhood, but I'm still not to fond of the idea of being kidnapped in my sleep and brutally murdered. Call me crazy. I love scary movies and can watch them all day, but... umm... I still have nightmares from time to time. Eeep!

What are you afraid of? Is it dramatically different from your childhood fears? As always, link-up below if you've written any Fall-O-Ween related posts this month!



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Giveaway Time!!

Here we are! Although there's still another week left, this will be the final giveaway of Fall-O-Ween :) It will run from today, October 24th until Friday, the 31st.

With all this talk of scary things and last Sunday's post about Halloween specials on television, the excitement for scary Halloween movies is building. Although I can't wait for some of my favorites to be played on t.v., I'm also ready for the new releases in theaters. And if you are too, then this is the perfect giveaway for you. Enter below for your chance to win a $25 Fandango giftcard! The card will be redeemable anywhere in the U.S. for any film ticket. And I'll deliver it to you electronically as soon as the winner is chosen. Happy Haunting!

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May the odds be ever in your favor :)